Monday - I think it was - I walked into Waterstones, up to the back of the shop with all the amazing teen books (I will NOT mention that certain saga), spotted a book, pulled it off the shelf, and read the blurb:

It’s really going to happen. They said it would, but this is quicker than anyone thought.

Before I Die by Jenny Downham is probably the most emotional book I’ve ever read. It tells the story of Tessa, a sixteen-year-old girl with leukaemia, who only has a few months to live. Because of her shortness of time, she makes a list: things to do before I die. Everything’s on her list, from having sex to breaking the law, to seeing her parents get back together and holding her best friend’s baby before anyone else. She’s determined to make the most out of her life before she has to go, and we’re there through every step of the way, right until that last sentence: “Light falls through the window, falls onto me, into me.”

SO WHY CAN’T I CRY?

I want to cry. I’m listening to sad songs. Every single goddamned review in the front cover of that book says how ‘everyone who reads this will cry’. SO WHY AREN’T I CRYING? Is it because I’m heartless? Because I’m this pathetic little thing with no ability to show her emotions?

I certainly feel like crying, but the tears won’t run. Instead I just feel empty. Empty, empty, empty. I’ve cried at other things, like while reading a certain book in a certain series that I certainly won’t be mentioning. Like when a bloke I never even knew died shortly after his girlfriend. Like when I heard this song for the first time.

But don’t let my lack of waterworks put you off. I can guarantee that everyone else will cry at this book. It’s heartbreaking, sad, beautiful. It’s “a reminder to value the people that matter, seize the moment, wish with courage, adventure with relish.” It’s bloody brilliant.

Only thing that annoyed me? Tessa wanting every damned thing in the world, taking advantage of her illness. But, then, she so deserved everything she was given, because she was just so brave. I could never stay strong through something like that. I’d stay in bed all day, feeling sorry for myself. She kept going for as long as she could, kept her and others’ hearts beating, kept the world looking amazing, kept the beauty in the simplest things. Kept that little sparkle of hope, that little bead of light.

Okay, I’m crying now. Thank you Snow Patrol.

You know me. I’m obsessed with Twilight (well, was.. been reading other stuff lately). But this didn’t half make me laugh alot tbh: (credit to some randomer on NaNo forum)

click to read more »

So Michelle from the Q*Bee mentioned that she’d be all inactive due to something called NaNoWriMo. I wanted to know what this nanowhatsit was, so I went to see. And my god, I have a new love.

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

I WANT TO DO IT.

So I signed up. (Anyone else who’s also participating, let me know!)

I have a vague idea about what I’m doing, but, really, I’m stressing. Because I have never finished anything in my entire life. Never. Well, writing wise, anyway. Sure, I’ve done a few short stories, but never anything with chapters or whatever. NEVER. Not even short novels.

I recently tried to write a novel but failed badly because I got so obsessed with it being perfect and stuff, not to mention how much my own characters were confusing me.

So I have no idea if I’ll be living on November 30th. I’ll probably be dead at my computer, eyes on the floor, fingers bleeding and brain bursting.

I’m so excited, though, because if I do finish this, then I would’ve actually completed one of my life goals - to write a novel. AIN’T THAT AWESOME? Yeahh. Just imagining the satisfaction after finishing it all.. oh my god. I would love to experience that.

So I’m diving in headfirst, and I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted.

In other news:

• I have my work experience on Monday. Crapping myself.
• Jodi Picoult’s ‘The Pact’ is so bloody amazing. And I mean that.
• I really really want The Lion King 2 soundtrack.
• I got my first Taeyang!!!!!!!!
• Pippa broke in half so I’ve got a new body on order. x]]]] Sooo happy to be rid of the Type 3 body rubbishness.. mind you, I didn’t half cry when I knocked her off the table. =P
• I need to start blogging properly again. =/