Dearest Aled (of my NaNo Novel)

I’m sorry, but my dice has concluded that you, overall, will have three love interests, even though you’re dead. Good grief.

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Dearest Roxanne (the first)

Let him go. He can’t remember shagging ya. Soz.

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Dearest Annabel (the second and main)

If you don’t forgive him now, he’ll shack up with a ghostgirl who’s about fifty million years older than him. Not literally, but you get my drift. Fgs. And stop playing Calvin. He’s a stalker, an obsessive, and way too clingy. You deserve better, my love.

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Dearest Evvy (the third)

I’m sorry, but you are ruining my story. Fgs, get back to where you came from. Why did you have to die? I liked you better when you were the class freak who just happened to be best friends with Annabel. You’ve changed so much since August.

–

I hate it when all my ideas go out of control. =[ My plot is slowly running away from me.

I have an amazing feeling that I’ll actually get 50,000 words though. Which is amazing. I just hope I can actually finish this darned story once and for all. =]

How many days til NaNoWriMo? 3.

So what usually happens to silly people who don’t remember to make backups of their novel preparations? THE COMPUTER BREAKS. yeah. You heard me. My computer won’t start - some problem with my hard drive, the hard drive with my beloved storyline spreadsheet on. God fucking help me, I’m screwed.

Is this a sign? A warning? Is this NaNo punishing me for being too prepared and using a storyline I’d already began working on?

Hopefully though, we can take my hard drive out and put it into my dad’s computer in attempt to retrieve some of my files. But I just know that the one folder I won’t be able to get back will be my NaNo folder, which, as well as having my spreadsheet in, had all my character building excercises and stuff in. All I’ve got left guaranteed is all the crap from past versions of the story which I could use that unfortunately has great big nooby holes in from where I hadn’t done enough plot thinking or character building.

Meh. I can remember roughly most of the plot, but it’s still nice to have something complete to work with. I was getting all excited at the fact that because I was fully prepared, I was actually going to finish this novel once and for all. If I fail NaNo these characters are gonna bug me for the rest of my life. Seriously, they’re annoying little buggers.

Help me? What I need is for someone to say they had a copy of everything on my hard disk that I can have. I mean, I may even have lost my music!!@!11@1!! Stressed. =[

Edit: IT’S FINE. We managed to get the drives into my dad’s computer and I went mad and saved everything I could onto his hard drive. I now has my stuff back. I’M SOO HAPPY. You shoulda seen me before; I was pacing the room, cursing everything, annoyed out of my mind. I even started screaming when Cedric Diggory died in Harry Potter (typical that I had to be reading that chapter, haha) I take things way too seriously. =P

I’m back at school now. It’s all getting scary.

I’m doing my GCSEs this year - General Certificate of.. Secondary Education, I think it stands for - and I’m practically crapping it. Especially music. Music’s hell.

I absolutely love my music lessons. They’re fun, relaxing, not easy but certainly ‘do-able’, and we have like the best teacher ever teaching us (although we did have two, but one retired at the end of last year. Pretty fed up with that - it’s not the same without her). But the exams just sound scary. We have to do, I think, two performance exams. That’s one solo, and one ensemble. I don’t know which one I’m dreading the most, tbh.

Because I ain’t that good at what I do. I call myself a guitarist, but I’m not exactly a great one. I don’t find it hard, I just can’t do it that well. I find myself envying all the kids on YouTube who can do these amazing covers of the simplest songs, and they’ve only been doing it all for a year or so. I know the only thing I can do really is practise more, but the fact that my room’s the size of a shoebox and my dad hates every ounce of electric guitar music - not to mention the fact that I’m shy anyway and worried about what other people think - I never have the motivation to. I really should, though. I know that. But really, I wish I’d just kept at the guitar the first time round, when I was ten. I might be happy with my progress right now if I had. Meh.

I’m hoping that someone will lift my spirits a bit over that. I’m really dreading having to sort out ensemble groups and pieces to play - all the people I know have already got theirs sorted. I could ask them to join mine, but why would they wanna do another one? Playing in front of an examiner is bad enough the first time, but again? Nah. fghsrtyhrth. Sometimes I wish I was a singer. All they have to do is find another singer (our class is full with them) and sing ‘Defying Gravity’ from Wicked with them. Which I’m so jealous about, btw. To sing or have anything to do with a Wicked song would be just, awesome. I want the book with geetar chords in, or something. Either that or I just want someone to act it all out with me - I have cravings to be Glinda in the ‘Popular’ scene. I used to act exactly like that when I was young, happy and hyper. ^_^

Meh. Enough about that, anyway. A while ago I blogged about my friend who was going to have an operation in August. If anyone can remember what I said, she’s been suffering from major heart problems for most of her life, meaning she had to have a pacemaker installed (is that the right word?) to keep her heart beating. Well earlier in the year one of the wires in her pacemaker came loose, consequently tugging harshly on her heart. She had to have an emergency operation (which she refused to have during schooltime, might I add) to fix the pacemaker and stop herself from dying in any second. I also commented on how amazing she’s learnt to deal with her problems - she laughs it all off and stays positive.. truly inspiring to those around her who suffer from any kind of illness.

Well, the operation was successful, and she’s fine. I’m so darned happy. All through the summer there was that nagging feeling in my mind, telling somehow she hadn’t made it. And it made it all worse not knowing her phone number or anything to check on her progress. But no, my nagging feeling was wrong, and she’s at school. Has to wear her right arm in a sling-type thing though to stop the muscles around her pacemaker from over-working - and the first thing she said when I asked was ‘I really hate having to wear this darned thing!’ - but other than that, she’s brilliant. Completely the same person; happy, laughing, smiling.. in some ways, she even looks better than she used to. There’s a new kind of sparkle in her eyes, you know? I’m just so happy for her, and hope that she never has to go through anything like that again. I think I was probably more worried than she was, though!

Homework and coursework’s starting to get tough, I think. I had art homework on the first day. I mean, srsly. I got stuff to do for catering and RE too, and no doubt I’ll have more next week. Ugh. I have to buy new PE clothes too, as I never really had time over the holidays. And I still need to do stuff to my Q*Bee quilt - somethings mucking up badly and whenever I try to direct-link to images on my forgotten-twilight.net/qbee directory, it comes up with the blank wordpress page saying ‘no posts here!’ or whatever, never showing the image. It’s especially bad with MyQuiltAdmin; whenever I go and try to trade with Bees who use that silly program, it never lets me enter my patch or anything - instead it comes up with ‘please use a valid image’. I mean, ffs. So, eventually, I’m gonna turn my quilt into a subdomain and display it in a similar way to my tradepost, just because wordpress never mucks things up on subdomains.. but I may have just jinxed it now. =P

But before all that, first I have to motivate myself.. dfgfrthbbdfgb. IT’S TOO HARD. ^_^ help.