I’m not sure if anyone actually bothers to keep track of my blogs anymore, but oh well. I thought I might as well post something.
Anyway. So I guess it’s ten days until that time of the year that always brings me the most happiness – THAT’S CRIMBO, GUYS. Are you excited? I’m excited. Not just for the presents though. I’m hearing christmas songs when I go into shops to do my christmas shopping, and all the adverts have those glittery snowflake effects on them. There’s snow forecast sometime this week. AND school’s nearly finished, and I’m telling you, I could do with this long(ish) break. There are so many things I want to do that I’m too tired to do during the week, so having some free time where I don’t have to worry too much about work will be amazing. Especially since I now actually have someone to spend my time with.
NaNoWriMo completely failed this year, but I guess it was inevitable. I managed to write a total of 15,156 words before giving up altogether, and now when I read it all back I realise just what a load of useless bullshit it was. I can’t believe how much I was kidding myself in thinking that I’d be able to repeat the success of Losing Place with less than a week’s preparation. There was a reason I managed over 80,000 words last year during November, and that reason just didn’t exist this time. Anyway, enough of this misery. I’ve given up writing now until after christmas at least, with the hope that when I come back to it I’ll have the motivation and creativity to be able to finish something. Maybe I might even manage to get better at it. Maybe.
I’ve been thinking alot about this site during my absense from the blogging thing. I’m wondering if it’s really a good idea to keep it going when I hardly use it anymore except for the emails. My parents are very much struggling with their finances – particularly since my mother’s been off work ill – yet it is their bank account that my hosting gets taken out of every few months. I think it’s terribly unfair. I’ve thought many times that I would be better off getting rid of it and sticking with something free like Blogger (which I’m quite enjoying at the moment, to be honest) to stop myself from worrying and feeling guilty, but then I always fight back with myself and argue that F-T is my baby now, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. I’m too used to having the freedom with Wordpress and FTP and everything, that I’d probably get annoyed without it. But it’s ridiculous, cause I hardly look twice at any of it anymore except for the daily check of my email inbox (and I don’t even get many of them anymore, seeing as I gave up TCGs however long ago). In reality, I wouldn’t be missing much. I’m just not at all into this blogging stuff anymore.
One thing I did think of doing to spark my interest again was to completely change what Forgotten-Twilight actually is. At the moment it’s a blog, and that’s all. But maybe if I actually gave it a purpose, I’d have more fun maintaining it. Since I still read books quite a lot (although that’s been a bit sparce lately, damn schoolwork) I was thinking of changing it into a book reviewing site thing, or just ultimately making it into a writing/literature blog. But I’m not sure. Not sure at all what I’m going to do. I’m having fun using Blogger, so I have a feeling I’m just going to stop my hosting and domain in April and return to using free blogging sites. And maybe, once I begin to get regular monies in my bank, I’ll be able to open up a new website. But I’ll need to be interested in it again to have the heart to do that.
Hmm.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet, but there’s no doubt that this’ll probably be the only post I make in a while. If I don’t have a chance to closer to the time, I’d like to wish everyone a happy christmas and new year now. This year has been absolutely awesome to be honest – I’m going to be sad to see it go. Hopefully 2010 will bring more than just me freaking out over the fact that we’ll be entering a new decade. Maybe I’ll attempt Project 365 again, haha. But until then I’m going to enjoy the last few weeks of 2009. For once I’m making the most of my time, it seems. I’m finally content with my life; no one knows how hard it’s been for me to reach this state of mind.
So yeah. Hope you all have a great Christmas and New Year. I hope you too make the most out of these next few weeks; I hope you get all that you want, and all that you need. I hope you see your families and have the best time ever listening to them talk and laugh. I really, really hope whatever controls our lives will be nice to you all from now on. I know it’s been nice to me.
